the non-edited form of my dj update... today was shitty. christy's freaking me out, im having a hard time with the missing people thing... my parents sit here and tell me that its my fault they argue all the time and that if i dont finish my homework the internets gone... i wonder which is more important to them... me having all my homework done and being the perfect child, or me being alive...and then at lunch, i just kinda started feeling worse... "no guy is worth that.""neither is a girl."i'm sorry amanda, but she is to me. shes everything to me, and is worth anything and everything. and then kati kept asking "whats your jive" aka "whats wrong", but i couldnt tell her because i still am not sure exactly what was going on... i think it has something to do with what i talked to amanda about, how nothing is ever going to change and i want it to... and then tomorrow's friday. a month ago i'd already know i was going to kyles house for a few hours, but its not a month ago, and i know ill be home alone... i really miss fridays with the group, they're alot of cool people that im not really ever going to see now.