yeppers, ...

yeppers, i never update anymore... so the few times i do update from now on it'll probably be public. not really much to say right now either... spent the past few days watching tv and wrapping presents...I LOVE MY FRIENDS! (just thought you all should know) MERRY CHRISTMAS

whee, pictures

i finally took the pics off my camera and uploaded them to photo bucket... now all you lucky people get to see them

i have pictures!

http://photobucket.com/albums/v627/lonelyinheaven/

100

this is my 100th entry

PLEASE do this (omg, a non-friends only post!)

ok, because of comments i have gotten, i made this page with two pictures on it... the first picture is amy lee, the second is me. if you see ANY similarty, or if you think theres nothing in commen between the two pictures, comment here and tell me this. i can't see the similarity, and i want to know if its just meto see the pictures, go to:http://www.villagephotos.com/pubbrowse.asp?selected=1014667

i've ...

i've taken everyone off my friends list, so if you were on before, you arent now. if you want back in, then tell me

please actually do this!

Enter value in a comment, then copy & paste this your own LJ.Be honest! You can pick more than one!0= I don't know you1= I like you2= I love you!!3= You are funny4= You are cool5= I don't really care for your personality6= I want to fuck you7= You are sexy!8= You're a sweetheart9= I want to get to know you10= I hope you die11= Marry me, PLEASE?12= Let's makeout.

"The g...

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved."

...

This is my angelGabriella
Adopt your own angel at Damaged Minds.

manda told...

manda told me to update, so i did. i have nothing i want to share... i probably should since im making myself sick holding it all in, but im not in the mood to talk to people about stuff. im really bored and almost wish i had school just for something to do. and i know that in letting go im learning how to livenothings stopping you so please release mei cant make you love me if you dontI know that I'll never be aloneyou will never let me gohold my hand while I'm sinking in the sandno one else could understandI'm at the end of myselftake anything you wantand nothing seems to satisfy methis time what I want is youthere is no one elsewho can take your placedon't let me stay here aloneyou better believe that I have tried to beat this and I have felt the sameas you I've felt the sameI am hanging on every word you say andeven if you don't want to speak tonightthat's alright, alright with mecause I want nothing more thanto sit outside Heaven's doorand listen to you breathingi just want to be here now

yeah, ...

yeah, so ive decided that once a week im going to have a day where i can eat whatever the hell i want, without writing it down and counting calories. and today is that day... yum. food.

yeah, ...

yeah, so ive decided that once a week im going to have a day where i can eat whatever the hell i want, without writing it down and counting calories. and today is that day... yum. food.

~food:krav...

~food:krave bar - 200 calgum - 5 calrice krispie treat - 160cheese corn - 160chef boyardee - 210floatz - 12044 croutons - 1202 reese's - 180triscuits and cheese - 230*grand total: 1495 calories*~exercise150 crunchesplus running around with manda

bagel w...

bagel w/peanut butter - 31010 oz. of apple juice - 140corn dog - 210oreo - 70roast beef - 4002 cups cheese corn - 16012 oz sierra mist - 140*grand total: 1430 calories*weight: 136.5 lbs.

food:~½ a ...

food:~½ a bagel - 105 cal.~mini-fudgesicle - 80 cal.~20 grapes - 70 cal.~22 croutons - 60 cal.~a piece of cake - 235 cal.~can of spaghetti and meatballs - 290 cal.~barq’s floatz - 120 cal.*grand total: 960 calories*exercise:~300 crunches i wanted to do 500, but im not stupid, when my body's in this much pain its time to take a break.

i...

i did 300 crunches and 100 leg lifts (50 per leg)... and all i ate since i got home at 9 was nothing... ive drank some water, but thats it. as soon as jordan is done im going to sleep.

i'm falli...

i'm falling for her.

x-posted in dj

yeah, so i spent the past 3 days chilling with the loonies over at kingswood... i wanted harbor oaks, but since i have a HF therapist i had to go to HF's hospital... it wasnt really that bad, i only saw the 2 doctors for like a total of 15 minutes the whole time i was there... the beds sucked, you couldnt tell the difference from sleeping on the floor from sleeping on the beds, the food wasnt that bad, the people werent that bad either... however i talk black now.. as i just said to my dad "i aint gettin no booty dart" (and for all of you non-kingswood ppl, booty dart= shot in the ass to chill you out.) half of the girls were white, half black... over half the unit was discharged today, and 2 new chicks came in. we had a self-esteem workshop, and alexis randomly goes "go screw a tree"... it was her version of "fuck you", and i think im going to adopt it as my own.. lol. ok, im done with this update I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HOME!!!!!!!ps... even tho i didnt want to, im on meds now.. i take lexapro for now... and im on amoxicillan for my sinus infection. yay, i can breathe!

ok, ive made a de...

ok, ive made a decision... and i know im going to get yelled at, but oh well... starting tomorrow morning, im keeping track of everything that goes in my mouth... its not starving myself, ill be getting more than 500 calories a day, just not the normal 2500 that most people usually get... im going to try to keep it between 1000-1200... its all part of making sacrifices for what i want.

lets start w...

lets start with school:christy wasnt there, so i was freaking out that she was dead, that wasnt cool... shes alive as far as i know right now... but i didnt know that til after school and i was freaking out about that... and then i saw him 4 times today, the 2nd to last time was at katis locker, before 8th hour... amanda was trying to show kati our pride drawings on our notebook, and he showed up and i was just like "amanda, we need to go... NOW!" then in 8th hour, as soon as i got there i wrote notes to amanda and kati, then asked to go to the "bathroom" because i couldnt hold it in anymore, i was about to start crying, and i wasnt crying in front of ed. so i get out of the room, and i met up with mario in the hall... he really cheered me up, he kept talking in this crazy british voice... it was great, he left when we got to the end of the band hall, but by then i felt a lot better, and didnt end up crying after all... i had already cried in 3rd hour, isnt once a day enough??? everyones all like "whats wrong"... whats wrong is that i miss him... i still really want to be friends... anyway, back to my day... i went to the "carnival" with amanda, and met a bunch of people there, amanda kolar, cat, carrie, chelsea, nicole, jess, audrey, elyse, jason, ricky, pat, and candyce, plus alot of amandas freinds/family... i was having a great time until they played "the reason" by hoobastank... that songs on a certain cd that i cant listen to anymore, along with space-dye vest (dream theater) last train home(lost prophets) and broken (seether feat. amy lee)... all those songs have emotional attachment... there was only like 15 minutes left anyway, but while amanda was playing a game i took advantage of the school being made of brick to chill myself out... then on the way home from amandas, guess what they played on the radio.... thats right, the reason. then i kinda sat around, updated my dj, then updated this. on a happy note, i accepted 2 things today:1. i can sing, and really good too.2. i am pretty... maybe not hot, but good enough for myself... as i said to poster the other day, "i like my fat" well, im tired, and not in the best mood, ill prolly go to bed soon.

the non-edited form of my dj update... today was shitty. christy's freaking me out, im having a hard time with the missing people thing... my parents sit here and tell me that its my fault they argue all the time and that if i dont finish my homework the internets gone... i wonder which is more important to them... me having all my homework done and being the perfect child, or me being alive...and then at lunch, i just kinda started feeling worse... "no guy is worth that.""neither is a girl."i'm sorry amanda, but she is to me. shes everything to me, and is worth anything and everything. and then kati kept asking "whats your jive" aka "whats wrong", but i couldnt tell her because i still am not sure exactly what was going on... i think it has something to do with what i talked to amanda about, how nothing is ever going to change and i want it to... and then tomorrow's friday. a month ago i'd already know i was going to kyles house for a few hours, but its not a month ago, and i know ill be home alone... i really miss fridays with the group, they're alot of cool people that im not really ever going to see now.